Does anyone remember Happy Meal toys? It didn't seem that long ago when they were pretty decent action figures and or collectibles. McDonalds and Burger King literally ruled the Happy Meal toy genre with big name tie-ins that spanned everything from Sci-Fi Movies, Cartoons, and Superheroes. For some reason now it seems as if Subway gets all the tie-ins and they really don't have anything more than little messenger bags for kids. Seriously, messenger bags (see image below)? What could possibly be worth than a bag? Well, we took this in a different direction and imagined the worst possible Happy Meal toy you could have gotten, ever. So sit back and imagine, if you will, if the following Happy Meal toy lines existed and this was the worst figure in the lot.
10. Krull - The Beast
The Toy: A big plastic head with on and off glowing eyes.
9. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter - Tommy Jarvis
The Toy: A toy for the tub, complete with Tommy in his rain coat.
8. Enemy Mine – Fyrine IV Hard-Shelled Creature
The Toy: Complete with a suction cup on its belly.
7. Transformers the Movie (1986) – Dead Optimus Prime
The Toy: A gray Optimus Prime eraser. So eventually he would just turn to dust.
6. Rosemary’s Baby – Minnie Castevet
The Toy: Minnie’s Happy Meal toy would emit the smell of Tanis Root.
5. Boxing Helena - Helena
The Toy: Helena would have limbs attached with magnets for easy on and off play.
4. Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome – Master Blaster
The Toy: A tiny Master pops off the back of Blaster.
3. Hellraiser –Bearded Man
The Toy: When you throw him in the fire his body melts away to reveal a demon. Obviously, this is a once and done thing.
2. Bladerunner - Hannibal Chew
The Toy: Chew’s Happy Meal toy is a squeezable figure that has eyes which ooze blood when squeezed.
1. Star Trek: The Motion Picture - Ilia
The Toy: A squeezable Ilia that says “Kirk Unit”.