We are counting down to September 4th, the day the Star Wars: The Force Awaken toys arrive. It will be pandemonium at Toys R Us. I was there back in 1999 when Toys R Us and many other department stores rocked the big sale. I’m on the fence this time about going. Sure I want my Episode VII toys, just like you, however, they are going to be EVERYWHERE. Hell, grocery stores will even have them. I was thinking back on that night and the days and weeks that followed. There were so pretty terrible Star Wars toys back in 1999. Here are 8 of my favorite “Not So Great Phantom Menace Toys”.
8. THE AMERICAN SINGLE PACKAGED FIGURES
We understand that America is the land of capitalism, but as action figure aficionados it was downright crappy of Hasbro to do this. Apparently, overseas Episode 1 figures came packaged with a droid. The very same droids we had to buy separately. It would have been nice to have a Battle Droid Army purchased right along with my regular figures.
7. OPEE & QUI-GON JINN
All right, when the hell did this happen in the movie? Perhaps this was a cutscene or a storyboard that someone saw and thought it would make a great toy. Well, they were wrong. Star Wars has a great assortment of beast figures and this one is just plain horrible.
6. 12-INCH BOSS NASS
Initially, Boss Nass is a bit of a heel. You have to admit he did set up the Jedi to get eaten. Why Hasbro green-lighted a 12-inch version of this do-nothing character is beyond us.
5. SPITTING JABBA THE HUTT FIGURE
We all wanted to reenact the Jabba spitting scene. We did, we really, really did. Oh and we also wanted that two-headed announcer fellow. We did. We wanted him so bad that we had to buy Spitting Jabba to get him. This two pack is such a win-win.
4. BATTLE BAG CREATURES
They are called Battle Bags yet where was the battle for the swamp creatures and the fish? The swamp creatures had a stampede and the fish swam by the Bongo (“which is a transport, I think”). These packs were incredibly lame and hung on the shelf long after the movie was out of the theater.
3. SEBULBA KOOSH BALL
Sebulba did have the best pod racer, a cool figure, and an awesome cinema scene. Yet, I have to wonder why they thought Star Wars Koosh Balls would be a good idea? I don’t even think kids wanted this.
2. CommTech READER
Toy Companies are always trying to make things more hip and more interactive for kids today. The CommTech Reader does this. It also eliminates imagination and keeps kids from creating their own stories. In all honesty, it was cooler to have a stand for the figures than to have them actually talk.
1. JAR JAR BINKS CANDY TONGUE
No, not his action figure, or his Happy Meal Toy, or even his 12-inch doll can compare to this. Just look at that picture. Look at it!
We gave you the Dark Side of The Phantom Menace, check out the Light in our "8 Great Phantom Menace Toys" HERE.