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AFJ’S TOP 13 FRIDAY THE 13TH KILL (ON BLU-RAY)

 

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Posted October 13, 2017 by

Jason Voorhees has done it all. Better yet he has done them all. An ax to the face here. A spear gun to the eye there. Hell, Jason has even been to Hell and back. Did I mention he also went into space? He is an unstoppable force and today is his day. This Friday the 13th celebrate the horror-holiday by hopping around the various slasher films by watching these select kills. Yes, we are implying that you already have the complete Friday the 13th Blu-ray Box Set (who doesn’t?) So instead of watching just one (or two) Friday the 13th this Friday the 13th, check put “AFJ’s Top 13 Friday the 13th Kills (on Blu-ray)”. Why Blu-ray? We wanted to put the unstoppable killer to the ultimate test. Can Jason’s true art form compete with 1080p? Here is what we unearthed…

Friday The 13th Part 3 (1982)
“Bullseye With a Spear Gun”
Time: 1:00:00
The colors here really pop. There is nothing that the HD does not highlight in the best possible way. The red tracksuit worn by Vera (Catherine Perks) is as brilliant as her red nails and blood. What is so disappointing is the 3D gag on a regular TV. Her twitching arm and bloody face sell the kill, but the 3D effect is completely lost. It just looks awkward, as all 3D movies do when not shown in their proper format.

Friday The 13th Part 6 (1986)
“Smile Your Dead”
Time: 00:22:14
This might be one of the quickest death in the franchise. Burt (Wallace Merck) buys it so fast that we barely have any time to enjoy the kill. What pops here in HD is the realistic blood smeared on the smiley face. Perfect in natural light.

Friday The 13th Part 4 (1984)
Time: 00:14:00
“Cut, Twist, Who’s Next?”
Poor Axel (Bruce Mahler), he was only trying to get a little something off one of the nurses. Of course, his taste is exercise videos does highlight one of the finer points of HD. A quick cut does come after the slice with the hacksaw, which is slow and gory in HD. The quick cut arrives with a twist of the neck that looks great in HD. No problems here as the audience is left with little to ponder.

Friday The 13th Part 3 (1983)
“Look Ma, No Waist”
Time: 01:02:54
What makes this death sequence fun is the point of view the audience gets. The blood hits the audience with a subtle ease but quickly jumps away to his girlfriend in the shower. The bad part, in 1080p, is the long shot of Debbie (Tracie Savage) looking up and seeing Andy’s (Jeffrey Rodgers) corpse cut wide upon. The shot reveals a brilliant red, but the organs all look fake. Quicker cuts seem to hide the flaws in 1080p.

Friday The 13th (1980)
“Mama Vorhees Buys It”
Time: 01:28:00
SPOILERS: Jason’s Mother, Pamela (Betsy Palmer), is the killer in the first film. This one here is a massive fail in HD. It’s a quick cut when Pamela gets killed, but its the lingering shot of her neck and her hands grasping in the air. Those hands are clearly not of an older woman. They are a man’s hands. High Definition tends to point out more and more things like this.

Friday The 13th Part 6 (1986)
“Put Your Heart in My Hands”
Allen (Ron Palillo) really had to be dumbest friend Tommy (Thom Mathews) had. When your friend says, “let’s go dig up Jason’s body”, you do not say, “Ok”. This another great quick death and a perfect one for high definition viewing. The blood and rain all pop as Allen gets his heart pushed out his back by Jason.

Friday The 13th (1980)
“Pierced Bacon”
Time: 00:42:50
This might be one of the worst kills in HD. Jack (Kevin Bacon) gets an arrow pushed through his throat from behind. To watch this on film might be the only way to go. As in 1080p, it is terrible. Clearly the actors we’re tanning in their off time (notice all the tan lines and burnt faces) because Bacon’s skin tone isn’t even close to the fake body they created for him. In fact, the color is closer to his olive green tank top. Again, this is why it better to watch these film on 35mm than in crystal clear 1080p.

Friday The 13th Part 4 (1986)
“Goodbye Jason”
Time: 01:24:00
There is a lot to look at here in HD and most of it is not good. The first glaring thing is Corey Feldman’s bald cap. Clearly, his close up was done at the end of the day. It looks as if it is about to peel off. The contrast of this is Feldman’s final moments staring into the camera. The bald cap here looks perfect. As for when Jason dies, it looks as if it is a rubber head sliding down a machete. Perhaps a Grindhouse effect is needed for future generations who care to watch these films.

Friday The 13th Part 2 (1981)
“Such Pretty Hair”
Time: 00:01:00
This is an astounding 1080p transfer for the film. What amazes me is that here, in HD, it really sucks you into the moment. Mark (Tom McBride) is rolling along in his wheelchair and the camera slowly pans inward on the back of his head. In HD you are amazed by the colors and the visibility of each strand of hair. As you wait for the inevitable blow to the back of his head you are shocked when it comes from the front. There is no time to see the deep cut across his face. We got the point. Mark’s final moments down the steps, rain-soaked and all, are great as well. It might be one of the best deaths in the franchise for so many reasons.

Friday The 13th Part 3 (1982)
“The Squeeze”
Time: 01:10:00
Another case of a great concept in 3D that it loses its luster in HD. Rick (Paul Kratka) gets his head squeezed by Jason and his eye pops out. What is sad is that Sam Raimi does his own eye-popping gag in Evil Dead II: Dead by Dawn (1987) without 3D and it looks incredible. Here it is a painful reminder as why these films should be shown in a darkened theater and not in High Definition. Be sure to say high to the Rick the Rubber Headman when you see him.

Jason X (2001)
“Computer, Start The Camp Crystal Lake Program”
Time: 01:23:00
This is a fun death, but one that does not involve any gore or blood. It is also one of the most modern moments on this list, having only transpired 12 years ago. What makes in great in HD? The two naked co-eds and their tongue in cheek approach to the whole scene and perhaps even the whole franchise.

Jason X (2001)
“Jason Smash”
Time: 00:30:35
When Adrienne (Kristi Angus) fails to notice that Jason has gotten up and started to walk around, don’t we all think that she deserves to die right then and there? Well regardless of your moral or cinematic opinion, she does. The futuristic setting really opens up the kills for Jason and his crystallization of Adrienne is incredible. Jason is so smart that he even keeps his hand behind her ears as to not hurt himself in the cryogenic water. This is a great death and he tops it by smashing her face into the counter. Again, this film has the benefit of being younger than the first 9 and probably had a better budget.

Friday The 13th Part 8 (1989)
“Jason Vs The Dumbest Guy Ever”
Time: 01:10:00
You have to wonder about the mindset of a person who takes on Jason with nothing but his fists. Sure, as a last result, but mano a mano right off the bat? This crazy super fight on a rooftop in Manhattan is probably one of the longest fights in the franchise’s history. Where it all comes crumbling down in HD is when Julius (Vincent Craig Dupree) gets his head knocked off. The blood on his fist is a believable red. In contrast, the blood under is skin, after his head is punched off by Jason, is a brilliant almost neon red. It matches his coat more than the blood on his fists. Not only is the whole moment ridiculous it also earmarks how ridiculous and crazy the death sequences were getting.


Robert Trate

 
Columnist and Critic for Action Figure Junkies and Cinema-Stache. Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Solo. Co-Host on Megapodzilla.


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