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8 MOST DESPICABLE TOYS EVER ORDERED BY MAIL

 

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Posted September 14, 2016 by

The joy of getting a toy in the mail is something that many of us know. The anticipation of waiting mixed with the long frustration of checking daily usually ends with a celebration at the mailbox. On the flip side, there was also the disappointment. The figure wasn’t all it’s cracked up to be, a year later it is released in stores and to be blunt, it was just lame. We love our toys here at Action Figure Junkies, but at times we scorn them too. Here is the “8 Most Despicable Toys Ever Ordered By Mail”.

8. Qui-Gon Jinn and Eopie 2010

qui-gon jinn and eopie

These mail away figures should have marked a turning point, a figure and a creature. Usually, you only get one special figure. Hasbro turned it up a notch by giving you two from Star Wars Episode 1. This would have been great if many of us would not have been met with a postcard explaining how ill prepared they were. Hasbro put their figure on back order. Yes, you could get your money back for this figure, but not for the figures you bought just to get this one.

7. Spirit of Obi-Wan Kenobi 1997

ghost obi-wan

In 1997 Frito-Lay introduced the Spirit of Obi-Wan on their new pizza-flavored potato chip bags. For just a couple of UPCs and $1.99 you got Obi-Wan’s ghost. When Obi-Wan did show up he was nothing but a POTF 1995 Obi-Wan mold made in clear blue plastic. His arms and head moved but his legs, body, and robes were one solid piece. In short, this was a half-assed figure to move some pizza flavored chips.

6. Cantina Band Member 1997

catina band member

Here is a figure that should have been in the original Kenner Star Wars line. Hasbro rectified that in 1997 through the “Star Wars Insider” magazine. The bitch of it was, despite getting all the instruments you got only one figure. That is not a band! So we had to fork over even more money to complete our cantina scene. Years later Hasbro released a full Cantina Band has if to say “Ha Ha” (a la Nelson Muntz) to all the collectors.

5. George Lucas Stormtrooper 2006

george lucas stromtrooper

This is nice tribute and fun for fans of the movie but it had already been done, twice! The first time was in the Micro Machines line and again a figure for Star Wars Celebration II. With all the figures Hasbro and Lucasfilm kept coming up with (George would have another figure made, only this time, it was as a character from Star Wars Episode 3) why George yet again? If anything I would ask for burnt Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. You know, characters from the movies.

4. Mummy Mumm-Ra 1985

mummy mumm-ra

LJN Toys jumped on the mail away bandwagon with Mummy Mumm-Ra but had little success with him. If you never got one they are easily found online and at flea markets. The figure is pretty lame. This is the Mumm-Ra on the show that was the weakling. The bad ass Mumm-Ra was the fully transformed one, the one that could take on the ThunderCats single handily. It is as if we are being asked to pick between Clark Kent or Superman. The answer is obvious.

3. The Fridge 1986

the fridge

Was it the Super Bowl Shuffle? Perhaps it was his Super Bowl win. I honestly believe it was an act of God because nothing else could better explain why William “The Refrigerator” Perry of the Chicago Bears became a member of G.I. Joe. Hasbro must have been looking for the next Sgt. Slaughter and picked this guy. The idea quickly fizzled out and we were stuck with one lame G.I. Joe.

2. Steel Brigade G.I. Joe 1987

steel brigade

No unique face, no unique uniform it didn’t even come with the option of picking from an assortment of parts to make you as a G.I. Joe. The big push was your own story on the file card. Wow. This figure did, however, inspire tons of guys to sculpt their own figures years later. Who knows, without Steel Brigade there might not be the craftsmanship in action figures we have today. 

1. Wun-Dar 1984

wundar

This is a figure of true legend because there is no real record of his existence. Maybe there are a few pictures here and there but who knows if they were even real. He was offered by Wonder Bread but it was never produced. Hardly an original figure as he had He-Man’s body with different colored hair, boots, and loin cloth. To top it all off he had Zodac’s chest protector, painted black. If you had both of these figures you could make him today. MattyCollector released the figure, so he now actually exists. Just imagine for a moment eating several loaves of Wonder Bread and patiently waiting for a figure that never came.


Robert Trate

 
Profile photo of Robert Trate
Columnist and Critic for Action Figure Junkies and Cinema-Stache. Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Solo. Co-Host on Megapodzilla.


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