AFJ’S 10 MEMORABLE CHARACTERS IN FORGETTABLE MOVIES

We have all sat through those movies; ones that didn’t live up to their hype. Will Star Wars: The Last Jedi be such a film (hopefully not)? Usually, these films aren’t too terrible, but in a week’s time, we’ll have forgotten all about them (Justice League anyone?). Often these super hyped films have great characters. More often that than not, they are overlooked or forgotten about.  These characters do make the film worth watching again, especially when we see it on late night TV. Here are Action Figure Junkies “10 Memorable Characters In Forgettable Movies”.

Darth Maul – Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace (1999)
Why oh why did George Lucas kill him off? At the very least he did bring him back with spider-like legs on The Clone Wars (and ended his story arc on Rebels). His time really was too short. Like any candle that burns twice as bright, it won’t last very long. Is The Phantom Menace forgettable? I try to forget about it every day.

Geoffrey Chaucer - A Knight's Tale (2001)
Taking jousting and professional wrestling and mixing them together works, sort of. It is just when you see the first Nike symbol and hear the rock ‘n’ roll soundtrack that your brain begins to check out. Thank God for the humor of Geoffrey Chaucer. Quick-witted and funny he makes all of William Thatcher’s (Heath Ledger) “change your stars” lines almost bearable. If only Paul Bettany would have stuck with portraying Englishmen and not fallen angels.

S.R. Hadden - Contact (1997)
This touchy-feely film about space exploration is a little too warm and fuzzy for our taste. Yes, there are some great ideas in the film, but nothing we hadn’t seen before. S.R. Hadden keeps popping up in all the right places and enables us to “go for a ride” after Ellie and the gang screw everything up. Somewhere you know a man like this exists (we are pretty sure it is Elon Musk). Hadden is the key to the future and the best part of surviving an almost 3-hour snooze fest.

The Deacon – Waterworld (1995)
While we were lost at sea watching the boring and nameless amphibian (Kevin Costner) one thing made it bearable, The Deacon (Dennis Hopper). He was the smartest and funniest of the Smokers in a world that was just plain boring. Even he knew his people were worthless, but hey, he was making the best of it (in the film and on the planet).

Mason Verger - Hannibal (2001)
How do you make a character scarier than Hannibal Lector (Anthony Hopkins)? Easy, you make him a deranged rich billionaire who actually survived being eaten by Hannibal the Cannibal. Throw in a patchwork face, a southern accent, and some hogs and you’ve got a villain (Gary Oldman) that literally makes your skin crawl. Too bad it’s in a film that should have never have happened.

Human Torch – Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)
Why did we go back for the sequel? That’s easy, Chris Evans as the Human Torch (and maybe Michael Chiklis, despite the terrible make-up). Evans got the character right and had great chemistry with everyone in the film. He was living the embodiment of Johnny Storm. 20th Century Fox screwed up everything else with this franchise. Galactus as an intergalactic smoke monster? Lame! However, compared to Ryan Reynolds' Green LanternFantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer is Citizen Kane.

Denton Van Zan - Reign of Fire (2002)
“Eden isn’t burning, it’s burnt!” –Denton Van Zan. A pre-Batman Christian Bale and Matthew McConaughey team up to take down a pack of dragons that have turned the world to ash. Van Zan is the perfect action hero for this world. Dedicated to the cause and insane enough to see his plans come to fruition. Reign of Fire was a blink and you’ll miss it film, but Van Zan is a dragon slayer whose legend will live for all time.

Sheriff of Nottingham – Robin Hood Prince of Thieves (1991)
Why don’t they give out Academy Awards for Best Villain? Would it promote people being evil? Alan Rickman stole the entire movie from everyone, including Bryan Addams’ song. When the Sheriff wasn’t on screen we were constantly reminded of the bad beards, the clothes, and an accentless Robin Hood was in this movie.

Evil Superman/ Clark Kent – Superman 3 (1983)
All right, I know that Christopher Reeve had already played him twice before so this is cheating a bit. You have to admit that Superman 3 is pretty forgettable. Yet when we do catch on TV,  we always ride it out until we see the Evil Superman fight Clark Kent. It is an amazing visual representation of the struggle going on within.

Cameron Poe’s Hair– Con Air (1997)
Nicholas Cage’s hair is probably the most memorable thing in the entire film. Just watch it as it blows in the wind and gently glides across his face. Those extensions should have won the Academy Award for best makeup. Steve Buscemi’s Garland 'The Marietta Mangler' Greene almost made the list, but he lost miserably to that hair.

 

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