Every year there is that must have toy. Whether it is a Furby, an Elmo or Turbo-Man, parents will go to any length for that special moment of the holiday season. We here at AFJ decided to raise the bar on how far we would go to get our all important holiday gifts. How you ask? Well, we have decided to travel through time using the Tardis and pick up those great gifts of the past and future (plus some unknown times) for ourselves. So jump into the Doctor’s Tardis with Captain Junkie and travel to yesterday and tomorrow as we fill our shopping bag. And feel free to share with us which kick-ass items you would take for yourself.
10. The Doctor’s Sonic Screwdriver
Time Travel Destination: ?
Since I’ll already have the Doctor’s Tardis at my disposal, I’ll need my own sonic screwdriver as well. This will undoubtedly help with all the other little things on my list. I just gotta remember that it doesn’t work on wood.
9. The Piece of Paper on which the Flux Capacitor was Drawn
Time Travel Destination: Hilly Valley, November 5th 1955
8. Scaramanga’s Golden Gun
Time Travel Destination: Scaramanga’s Island, 1974
7. Stormtrooper Armor
Time Travel Destination: The Death Star, A galaxy far far away
6. Ghostbuster Proton Pack
Time Travel Destination: New York City, 1984
5. Bruce the Mechanical Shark
Time Travel Destination: Martha’s Vineyard, 1974
I would have to travel to Martha’s Vineyard and pick up this ultimate Jaws collectible. What would I do with it? Well, I’d put it in my movie trophy room of course. It will go right next to the original Rosebud, Clarence’s copy of Tom Sawyer, and of course Sam’s Piano. With the sonic screwdriver, I could even get it working again.
4. Captain Power's Power Suit
Time Travel Destination: North America, 2132
Since the Stormtrooper Armor has now become a mere decoration, I’m going to need some really powerful/ protective armor. Captain Power’s should do. I’ll need enough power and reserves to use it for what I want to do, which I am getting to.
Time Travel Destination: Great Britain, 12th Century
Guns, blasters, and proton packs will eventually run out of power and ammo. Having the greatest sword in the history of swords at your side is a great back up. So, do I pluck it from the lake or take it from Arthur’s hand?
2. The Queen Alien’s Head
Time Travel Destination: The planet LV-426, 2122
All those items above (well not #5, #2 and #9) have lead to this. Yeah, I plan on going to LV-426 and taking the Queen Alien’s head for my trophy room. Now that I think about it, I hope the sonic screwdriver can turn that blood acid into something else. The taxidermy on that head is going to be a bitch.
1. Zu Zu’s Petals
Time Travel Destination: Bedford Falls, 1928
I thought about going back to Bedford Falls and helping out the Bailey clan with Zuzu’s petals, telling Uncle Billy that Potter had the money and kicking the shit out of Sam Wainwright. Then it hit me, wasn’t Mary Hatch the hottest woman in Bedford falls? To hell with Violet Bick. Like George, I’ll take Mary any day. I’ll just travel back to 1928 and dance with Mary over George. The rest should be easy.
Please visit last year’s Black Friday Time Traveler here on AFJ for further time traveling adventures.
Robert Trate knows that removing these items from the space-time continuum would create a paradox. Relax; Robert has no such plans to steal these items throughout time. Instead, he plans on wooing Mary Bailey and ruling Bedford Falls with an iron fist. While not traveling through time, Robert writes for AFJ and talks all nerdy things on MegaPodzilla. All the items, outside of the lovely Donna Reed, are available as toys for purchase.