The Gorn is broadcasting from the unknown regions of space and has taken control of Action Figure Junkies!

Greeting Humans, I am Gorn. Action Figure Junkies wanted to give you his list of top 10 Star Trek figures.  Since top ten lists bite, I have taken over with something better! I do love chewing on those little renditions of Kirk and Spock and though my own figure the first time around sucked, my later figures have outshined both those of Kirk and Spock. There have been too many Star Trek toys over the past fifty cycles. Thanks to your brilliant invention, YouTube, we can relive, cringe and laugh at your silly attempts to sell your hatchlings playthings. However, it won’t all be just toys. Your beloved heroes of the Enterprise sold out in the worst way, more than once. Are you ready to witness the best and worst of what this YouTube has to offer? Begin transmission! #GornTV

Star Trek (TNG) Playmates Commercial


That computer voice is the worst. Though not as bad as Patrick Stewart, the great Shakespearean actor plugging his one-man show after a toy commercial. Gorn laughs at you Stewart!

Deep Space 9 Action Figure Commercial

Quark was always a funny Ferengi, despite the fact that he waters down his drinks. Who else would sell play things of the people he works with? Brilliant Quark, terrifically brilliant.

Mego Star Trek Phaser Game Commercial


Ah, proof that even at an early age you humans train your hatchlings to fight. Who was in the right on Cestus 3 now?

1975 Mego Star Trek Playset Commercial

Could those possibly be the worst hatchling actors on YouTube?

Vintage Mego Star Trek Action Figure Collection TV Commercial 70's

Kirk, their fearless leader? More like coward who pushes boulders and shoots his enemies with diamonds. Remember Gorn fights with weapons of the hand so that he can look into his enemies’ eyes. That is the way of the true warrior! 

Star Trek: The Next Generation Shuttle and Klingon Cruiser Toys

That shuttle is a bitchin’ toy. Though would someone explain to Gorn why an android would need a seat belt?

Star Trek KFC

What? Is that even the real Sulu? Your beloved Captain looked a little soft in the middle. Maybe he should lay off the KFC.

Star Trek English Commercial

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

This is Gorn. Remember, I rule!

END TRANSMISSION

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