If you are truly a fan of Spider-Man you will agree on all of these with me. Now before we get too deep into this top 10 list, let us remember, Hasbro I am looking at you, Spider-Man/ Peter Parker is not Batman! He is not a millionaire who can afford all of these gadgets and vehicles (well certainly not anymore, in the current Marvel storyline). Even with that being said, many of these items pre-date that storyline and wrapped around the movies. Spider-Man is your friendly neighborhood web-slinger. A man who could barely make ends meet, let alone afford jet fuel. I understand the need to sell toys and make money. I also understand the need to appeal to collectors and cross-over toys. However... my little rant has only just begun. #AFJ4LIFE

First and foremost...

The Spider-Mobile
This is the only vehicle that Spider-Man actually ever had. Check out Amazing Spider-Man #130 (vol.1) for just how ill-prepared old Web-Head was when he got it. Thankfully, it did return in the "Old Man Logan" storyline.

Top 10 Lame Spider-Man Toys

Spider-Man Corgi Spider Copter

All right,  I am starting with the one I actually owned. I was given this as a gift and I much as I love the nostalgia of it, I still have to say SPIDER-MAN DOESN’T NEED A HELICOPTER! 

Spider-Man 2: Spider-Man Scooter w/Pizza Action Figure

Seriously this was a figure! Toybiz, did you not know that in the movie, the only way he can deliver Pizzas in time is to swing through the streets of New York? Why would anyone want this figure? Well outside of a collector who likes bad figures.

Spider-Man Outdoor Heroes Box Set

For the outdoor family that has kids who love Spider-Man and simply have to take him camping, right? Right? Right? 

Spider-Man Hypersonic Spider Jet
I guess Spidey needed one to catch up with the Avengers or the X-Men because they needed backup? Did he build this? Was this a gift from Tony Stark? Where did house this plane? Better yet who pays to house it? Peter Parker can barely make ends meet let alone afford the jet fuel for this.

Capture Claw Spider Chopper

Where did Spider-Man take the villain, that was so deadly he had to use the claw chopper to catch him? The Spider Cave? The Web Layer? Peter Parker, being a born New Yorker cannot even drive a car. However, he can drive a chopper?

Spider-Man ATV
This one just tickles us pink. Hasbro keeps turning these babies out. Hasbro, did you just repaint the Spider-Man based on the latest incarnation?

Spider-Man Web Copter
If you were a superhero, who could swing through the streets of New York City, would you take the time to take off and land a helicopter? Grant it, Batman can do this too. However, he is a billionaire and could afford it. The high school student from Queens? Again, Lame. 

Spider Speeder (Boat)
Remember that boat adventure that Spider-Man had? What about the time he teamed up with Baywatch? Your answer is a loud "what are you talking about"?

Spider-Man Battle Action Car with Spider Legs
This is was part of the 2012 Amazing Spider-Man line. I really don't know what they were thinking here. WTF purpose do those legs serve? Do they allow him to climb up walls in the car? He does that without the car. Better yet, how does Peter Parker afford this in the Amazing Spider-Man Andrew Garfield storyline?

Spider-Man Adventure Hero Line
From 2004 comes the collectible bane of all Spider-Man fans. Yes, Hasbro actually made a Spider-Man for all the reasons you never would expect Spider-Man to have an outfit for. We like the Fireman Spidey, a great tribute to the heroes of 911. However, why do I need a Soccer Spidey? Is there a Hulk one too? Perhaps Captain America started a team building exercise or a charity event? Why? It’s Bungee Jump Spider-Man (top right hand) and Glider Spider-Man that really cements the whole line with one dull "LAME". 

We will be happy to hear your thoughts

Leave a reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Reset Password