by FutureSpoilerBoy (an industry insider who wishes to remain nameless)
***Some might take these as spoilers. Fair Warning!!!***
Well, geez. I hope so. What else would they do with him? Henry Cavill (sans mustache) knows what I’m talking about. I know, I know. That was a low blow. Sorry, DC fans. You’ll definitely get a Man of Steel sequel before the Mr.Freeze Elseworld standalone. But back to Thanos for the moment. This dude has to be toast and jam. One way or another Josh Brolin and Michael Shannon are doing an art house movie together after this. Favoured Nation deals and everything. We goin’ Oscars! But in all seriousness, I hope Gamora is the one to end Thanos. Partially because of –well, read on. You’ll get it.
I mean, yeah – right? Can this dude survive long without the little shiny gem in his head that the big guy takes from him? I know, I know. He didn’t get to have his little android babies with Scarlet Witch yet, but maybe she’ll be preggers by the film’s end. And anyway, I kinda want Paul Bettany to continue his voice arc next by lending it out to that Bizarro Ultron dude, Adaptoid, in some Iron Heart spinoff. Markus and McFeely can figure out how some Jarvis/Vision tech gets mixed up in all that. Not my problem. And then Scarlet Witch can get with Adaptoid or something.
#3 SCARLET WITCH
Or maybe she just dies. Like right after she believes Thanos brings her bro Quicksilver back to life by using the mind stone, she just dies. (That’s not nice). Oooohhh. I hope he does that with Peggy Carter. I heart Cap and Peggy bigtime. But never mind for now. Maybe Miss Olsen doesn’t die. Or can’t just yet. So she’ll be around when the X-Men come through, where it’s explained the Terrigen Mist never really worked on her. She was always mutant like that and was in hiding her whole life. Oooohhhh. Feige never really liked the Inhumans infringing on his cinematic territory anyway. Or Nah. He’ll probably just recast all the X-Men again unless he wants to do the parallel world thing. But he only gets to play that card once! Only once! But where was I – this was supposed to be about Scarlet Witch dying. So yeah, she dies. Sorry, Olsen number 3.
#4 NICK FURY
Ahh, old man Fury. Look how far we’ve come. The John Calipari of the Avengers. Are sports references allowed here by the way? Sorry in advance. Well… Considering his arc is most likely coming full circle with Captain Marvel being announced as a prequel he should be finally freed up for “Snakes on a Plane 2.” Unless that was already made with Jason Patric. Was it? Seriously, was it? Anyway, I say full circle because I’m guessing my man, Nicholas Fury, first brings up the idea of the Avengers to Tony in his Malibu mansion because of what he finds out in Brie Larson’s Marvel debut. I.E. Some nasty, warrior, CGI space aliens are out there waiting to attack us. He also does point to Thor in the original team-up as the reason why he had all those fancy weapons made. So yeah. He intros Danvers to the team and dies, allowing Thor to claim the title as the sole one-eyed hero. Cheers, Director Fury! You put in work.
I think we can all agree the two-face thing can only last so long. He’s good. He’s bad. He’s good again. Then he’s bad. Oh, wait, he’s – you get the idea. But then again, Tom Hiddleston can do pretty much anything and get away with it. Still, to serve the narrative and the character’s arc, how fitting would it be for Loki to sacrifice himself for Thor and the good of his Asgardian people? Man, would that give Thor some major beef with the Mad Titan. Also, the Brothers Russo tell us to plan on hating Thanos pretty quickly at the top of the film. Still, some of me thinks he breaks Peter’s neck and back from that shot in the trailer we see when Thanos has got him in his clutches. And then we’ll get that classic image from the Civil War comics of a lifeless Spider-Man being carried off by –well, in this case, it would be a demoralized Tony and not the Punisher. But I digress. We’re talking about Loki dying. Not Spider-Man breaking his Tony Romo. Sorry, another sports reference. I promise we’re back to Loki dying this time. Considering where Thor: Ragnarok leaves off when the Asgardian ship comes up on Thanos’s warship, it makes sense for Loki to soon be a goner after he completes his task and hands over the Tesseract to his old boss. What a way to kick off this mega-beast of a 2-parter, right? (Realize some get touchy when you refer to these next two Avengers films as a 2-parter… oh well, I’m sure we’ll all make it through.)
Speaking of 2-parters. What about Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3? (Was that transition too forced?) We know James Gunn is gearing up to complete his trilogy and he loves the character Nebula, but it would be really cool (story-wise obviously) if Thanos were to kill his daughter to un-earth the Soul Stone. You have to kill someone you love for the Soul Stone to reveal itself, right? Or is it, you have to get stoned in front of someone you love to reveal your true self? Either way, banking on this being thee most emotional moment in the next two films. Next to…
#7 & 8 CAPTAIN AMERICA AND IRON MAN
Yup. Say it ain’t so. But we got our Cap trilogy. And our Iron Man trilogy. I’m ready for my Bucky & Falcon bro-mance Cap mantle passing flick. As well as an Iron Heart flick. Although, I think they might be side characters in someone else’s solo film at first. Who knows? But it would be freaking bad-ass, accompanied by all the feels in the world if Cap & Tony sacrificed themselves together in a double-suicide mission to win it for half of all humanity. Right? But who are we kidding. They’ll probably get “dead” by getting sucked into some pit of oblivion deal in order to give the actors some time off, before showing up on The Beyonder’s prison battle planet thingy in a Secret Wars Avengers film down the line. Whew… Okay, I think I took one too many Soul Stones myself, so quick –get rid of me and hire Joss Whedon. Or don’t. You might just regret it.
Ok, fine! I know you’re thinking Hawkeye has to die too. How obvious, right? I dunno. They’re planning on a Black Widow film and I feel they would need his character for that one. Or maybe not. He could just play a role in the flashbacks that reinforce the present story. So yeah, maybe he does get dead too. But Linda Cardellini is going to be pissed big time! Now, who the hell is she going to get to chop all that firewood? Whatever you do, don’t ask Groot. So Hawkeye dies, yeah. Probably. But not before he becomes that cool samurai, sword-slinging, Ronin dude. Yeah, I saw the set pictures too. 😉
#10-20 HONORABLE MENTION - HIT-LIST (OVERTIME)
Okay, so since Thanos most likely takes the win home for numero 3, the Avengers have to do away with some of the Black Order for good measure by the end of the film, right? I hope they at least kill that one dude [Ebony Maw] who looks like Voldemort after an all-night bender. Guy gives me the creeps.
Oooh, what about Hela, the Goddess of Death? Thanos does love him some “Death”. Maybe they can consolidate this infamous lover’s storyline with Cate Blanchett returning. Killing her again would surely be a gut punch to the big man.
And what about, the Collector? I have a feeling that this dude is someone who can easily piss off Thanos if he doesn’t have the stones to complete his gauntlet. Although, I do agree with Mr. Jeff Goldblum. A meeting between these two could be interesting. I’d save him for now.
Hey, Red Skull? Where you at? You gotta come back to face Evans before the guy hangs it up, right? If Hugo Weaving doesn’t wanna make-up up again, throw someone else in some red-face. Is red-face appropriate to say?
Glenn Close’s and John C. Reilly’s Nova Corp characters? I could see Thanos zapping them and Xandar with some big huge bomb ray Death Star style.
Maria Hill’s Cobie Smulders Shield Agent role? Could go out with her buddy, Nicky. Just don’t let Coulson come back to die again. I imagine Feige won’t let that happen.
Idris's Heimdall could very likely be the first to go when Thanos even more likely hijacks their huge ass Asgardian transport ship, as I mentioned earlier. The poor guy's soul hurts doing superhero movies anyway and like Loki's death, this could also serve as motivation for the one-eyed, hammer-less throwing Avenger to lead the charge in killing the big, CGI, purple, scrotum chin baddie. Wow, did it take this long to mention that Thanos's chin really does look like a big ol' scrot. I'm calling him Scrotos from now on unless of course Deadpool 2 steals that joke from me. I mean, C'mon! Can we get a close-up below of that chin?! It's totally a scrot!
Wakanda could pay a heavy price for hosting that large-scale battle seen in all of Infinity War’s trailers. Some speculate the soul stone could be in the bedrock of the country, giving Wakanda and maybe its protector its power. Losing that would be something but wouldn’t it be better if the battle hits closer to home (pun intended) personally at its conclusion. I’m banking on the death of T’Challa’s queen mother, the great Angela Bassett. With that, you’re setting up a whole lot of conflict between the new king, his new super friends, and of course his people. Hold up, is she even in this flick?
Man, that’s a whole lot of dead people. 20, plus all of Xandar, was it? Still, I’d plan on saying goodbye to at least a few in each film.
Who do you guys think will die over the next two Avenger films? Rattle away below…